Monday, May 11, 2009

Attention Evil Aliens:

You have stolen my daughter and I want her back. The clone that you replaced her with is defective. It likes to play with sweet peppers and sticks chocolate ice cream in its butt.

For Mother's Day, it decided to unlock the front door, run out, then almost get hit by a car. We had to install a chain on our door. We expect a full refund of the purchase price, plus $20 extra for the time it took to put it up.

A short time later, it decided to write on our bathroom walls with permanent marker. I have full estimates from a few qualified painters in the area for your consideration. We'll expect your decision at the end of this week.

It finished out the evening by screaming bloody murder for an hour. Apparently it was after my daughter's stuffed animals, because the minute I put 12 of them in her bed with it, it quit crying and went to sleep.

The plus side is: I managed not to hit the damn thing. The down side: I had to spend the majority of Mother's Day trying not to hit it.

Just take it back.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Oh WOW! Sounds like... ACK! (from Wen)