Sunday, March 20, 2011

The Secret of the Kissue

SnottySuzie has a runny nose.  We've been running after the poor girl for the last day with tissue after tissue.  When she doesn't have one available, she'll use whatever's handy: her shirt, my shirt, her arm.  We're trying to break her of that habit.

Yesterday, when I caught her wiping her nose on her shirt:

Awesomeness:  Suzie, we don't wipe our nose on our shirt.  
SnottySuzie: But, Mama, I don't have a kissue. (I think she tries to combine the name Kleenex with the word tissue.)
Awesomeness: Well, then go grab some toilet paper instead.
SnottySuzie: Nooooooooo!  We don't wipe our nose with toilet paper.  We wipe our butt with toilet paper.
Awesomeness: Yes, we wipe our butt with toilet paper, but it's also okay to wipe our nose with it.
SnottySuzie: I need a kissue.  Then I blow my nose with a kissue.  Then I wipe, wipe, wipe my nose with a kissue.  Then that's how we get the Smurfs.

That has to be the most plausible explanation for the Smurfs I've ever heard.

Friday, March 18, 2011

And So It Begins...

My kids almost never watch commercial television.  I hate commercials.  When they need ("need") to watch something, we have about a thousand movies and a good selection of programs to choose from on Netflix.

Aside from that, they end up watching Nick Jr. a bit, which is commercial-free television.  The point is that, so far, I haven't been bothered with requests for the new cool 'Betsy Wetsy' or whatevertheheck toy is hot today.  It's been bliss.

Until today...

ConsumerCathy: Mama, I want a Happy Napper!
Awesomeness: I'll give you a nap all right.
ConsumerCathy: No, Mama.  A Happy Napper.  I need a dragon one.
Awesomeness: What in the heck is a Happy Napper?
ConsumerCathy: Well, first it's a pillow and you zip it and a dragon comes out.

Then she sings a cutesy little song that I think is supposed to be the Happy Napper jingle.

All I could think was:


I got curious and Googled Happy Nappers.  Of course, they're "As Seen On TV".  This always translates into "Nothing Like On TV"

I think this will also be her first lesson in disappointment called, "Want in one hand, shit in the other."

Thursday, March 10, 2011


The other night, while I was trying to finish a post for my other blog, CameraHogCarla came by and wanted to play.  I had been trying to work on this for a couple of days already and was determined to finally make some progress before I completely lost my train of thought.

Carla was persistent and eventually I had to take on an "if I can't beat her, I might as well join her" attitude.

I've found that the webcam can provide hours of entertainment.  Here are some of the highlights from that night's fun:

My worst nightmare:

Mr. A's worst nightmare:

Put this on a loop for about 2 hours and you'll get the full Awesomeness blogging experience:

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Detoxing My 4-Year Old

My girl is a special kid.  She doesn't do anything half-ass.  Ham for the camera:

Wrestle her brother while hamming for the camera:

Getting sick:

The kid has been sick for almost a whole month now.  I don't know precisely what she came down with this time, but I do know that, over the last month, she's been on 2 different antibiotics, 2 fever reducers, a cough suppressant, a laxative (sorry...) and now this Albuterol courtesy of a nebuilizer.

She's been a good sport about it.  She doesn't complain about her medicine and has even gotten to a point where she'll remind us when it's about time for another dose.

That's when you know it's time to wean her off some of this shit.  We're working on that.  She no longer needs the fever reducers & the cough suppressant and is almost done with the laxative (again, sorry...).  She's 2 days out from being done with the antibiotics and the Albuterol.

We cannot wait!!  In the meantime, she's still her old charming self:

And who is that dirty white bunny?