Saturday, October 15, 2011

Stay At Home Mom

I took the last couple of days off from work, which means I've gotten to spend a lot of time I don't normally get to with my kiddos.  Long hours.  Long, loud hours.  Long, loud hours filled with Shaun the Sheep and cleaning up pee.

I am ready to go back to work now.

The one thing I will say about staying at home with my kids: I am now very afraid for their future.  I expect to give them advice like, "No, you can't have cookies until after lunch," but I find that my life lessons have been geared a bit more toward:
Stop wiping your boogers on my printer!
OH MY GOD! Get your damn face out of the toilet!
Hey, jackass, you got yourself stuck between the couch and the wall.  Get yourself out.
We don't wash windows with our panties.
Nuh-uh.  Magnets don't go in your butt.
Maybe one of these days I can be a normal mom.

Friday, October 14, 2011


Recently, my little PollyPastDweller has been recalling her fondest memories:
You remember when I was one year old and I missed you?
Well, when I was 4 years old I threw up, like this, "Bbbblllllllllllleeeeeeccccchhhhhh!"  You remember that?
When I was a little baby, I used to squirm a lot, but now I hold still.
You remember when I was 3 years old and we went to the store and I was very loud?
I assure you that all of that actually happened just the way she remembers.