Yesterday, SicklySuzie got sick. All over the place. I am generally useless in these situations, since I'm a sympathetic puker. All I could do is sit across the room, try not to look at her and take shallow breaths until Mr. A got it all cleaned up.
This happens often enough that we have a special bucket that we pull out, just in case she's ready for another round and can't make it to the toilet. After the episode, we gave it to her and reinforced that she should either use it or try to make it to the bathroom if she feels sick again.
A couple of minutes go by and Mr. A is just about done. I venture a glance at Suzie and she's sitting on the couch, cross-legged and shirtless with a bucket between her legs.
She looks up and notices that I'm staring at her.
SicklySuzie: Mama, why I have this bucket?
That's my girl.
Awesomeness: Honey, you just had a megaton of puke come out of you. You need the bucket in case there's some left.
SicklySuzie: Macaroni puke? I have lots and lots of macaroni puke.
Awesomeness: No, sweetie, I said 'megaton' not 'macaroni.'
SicklySuzie: I have lots and lots and lots of macaroni puke.
This is the point where I've completely lost interest in ever eating macaroni again.
Then she had to keep going.
SicklySuzie: This bucket is for my throw ups.
Awesomeness: Yes, honey, that's why you have a bucket.
SicklySuzie: But we don't play with our throw ups.
Awesomeness: Uh....
SicklySuzie: Playing with throw ups is BLEEEEEEEHHHHH!
Ugh.
Showing posts with label sick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sick. Show all posts
Monday, April 18, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
The Secret of the Kissue
SnottySuzie has a runny nose. We've been running after the poor girl for the last day with tissue after tissue. When she doesn't have one available, she'll use whatever's handy: her shirt, my shirt, her arm. We're trying to break her of that habit.
Yesterday, when I caught her wiping her nose on her shirt:
Awesomeness: Suzie, we don't wipe our nose on our shirt.
SnottySuzie: But, Mama, I don't have a kissue. (I think she tries to combine the name Kleenex with the word tissue.)
Awesomeness: Well, then go grab some toilet paper instead.
SnottySuzie: Nooooooooo! We don't wipe our nose with toilet paper. We wipe our butt with toilet paper.
Awesomeness: Yes, we wipe our butt with toilet paper, but it's also okay to wipe our nose with it.
SnottySuzie: I need a kissue. Then I blow my nose with a kissue. Then I wipe, wipe, wipe my nose with a kissue. Then that's how we get the Smurfs.
That has to be the most plausible explanation for the Smurfs I've ever heard.
Yesterday, when I caught her wiping her nose on her shirt:
Awesomeness: Suzie, we don't wipe our nose on our shirt.
SnottySuzie: But, Mama, I don't have a kissue. (I think she tries to combine the name Kleenex with the word tissue.)
Awesomeness: Well, then go grab some toilet paper instead.
SnottySuzie: Nooooooooo! We don't wipe our nose with toilet paper. We wipe our butt with toilet paper.
Awesomeness: Yes, we wipe our butt with toilet paper, but it's also okay to wipe our nose with it.
SnottySuzie: I need a kissue. Then I blow my nose with a kissue. Then I wipe, wipe, wipe my nose with a kissue. Then that's how we get the Smurfs.
That has to be the most plausible explanation for the Smurfs I've ever heard.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
The Spirit of Giving
If my ultimate goal during the Christmas season is to make sure that my children understand that the holiday is all about giving, then I have succeeded. Yesterday, my kids gave to me all day long:
8:45 a.m.: My daughter gave me an ulcer.
We had just finished unwrapping the last of our gifts when MaryChristmas suddenly announced that she needed to go downstairs now and take a nap on the couch. She looked very pale and drained, so we took her downstairs and checked her temperature: 100.7. Nice. Twenty minutes later we checked her again and her temp had shot up by over a degree.
This is not only no way for a child to spend Christmas, but it's also reminiscent of last year, when she got so sick we eventually had to admit her to the hospital for two days. We got some fever reducer in her before she fell asleep. Two hours later, she was back up and playing with her brother.
Whew!
11:30 a.m.: My son gave me a heart attack.
The first sign of trouble was the universal kid-in-distress signal: he was being very quiet. All of a sudden, Mr. Awesomeness yells, "What is he choking on?!" We run over to him and he starts fighting us. The kid can't breathe, but he doesn't want to give up whatever is in his mouth. At this point, we did what any caring parent would, we forcefully pinned his ass down. This is when we fish about a lb. of blue foamy stuff out of his mouth. Well, where the hell did that come from? We don't buy our kids foam anything, specifically because they try to eat everything.
Then I notice this little blue bouncy ball I got for him as a stocking stuffer. The ball that I thought was made of either plastic or a hard rubber. Apparently not, as it had a huge bite taken out of it. Ugh.
8:05 p.m.: My son gave me a shower.
The night was winding down and we thought it was ending well. MaryChristmas was maintaining a good normal temperature and ChokeyCharlie hadn't tried to eat any of his other presents. Less than an hour to go until bedtime. We've almost made it....
ChokeyCharlie started to cry. This was not unexpected because he missed his nap time this afternoon.
Awesomeness: What's the matter, buddy, are you sleepy? You should have taken a na.....
ChokeyCharlie: BBBBBBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHH!
I'm guessing that, by the time he was done, I had about half a gallon mixture of apple juice, water, milk, raisins, crackers, chips, turkey, bread and chocolate all down the front of me.
How did he know I've had that on my list for years and years?
8:45 a.m.: My daughter gave me an ulcer.
We had just finished unwrapping the last of our gifts when MaryChristmas suddenly announced that she needed to go downstairs now and take a nap on the couch. She looked very pale and drained, so we took her downstairs and checked her temperature: 100.7. Nice. Twenty minutes later we checked her again and her temp had shot up by over a degree.
This is not only no way for a child to spend Christmas, but it's also reminiscent of last year, when she got so sick we eventually had to admit her to the hospital for two days. We got some fever reducer in her before she fell asleep. Two hours later, she was back up and playing with her brother.
Whew!
11:30 a.m.: My son gave me a heart attack.
The first sign of trouble was the universal kid-in-distress signal: he was being very quiet. All of a sudden, Mr. Awesomeness yells, "What is he choking on?!" We run over to him and he starts fighting us. The kid can't breathe, but he doesn't want to give up whatever is in his mouth. At this point, we did what any caring parent would, we forcefully pinned his ass down. This is when we fish about a lb. of blue foamy stuff out of his mouth. Well, where the hell did that come from? We don't buy our kids foam anything, specifically because they try to eat everything.
Then I notice this little blue bouncy ball I got for him as a stocking stuffer. The ball that I thought was made of either plastic or a hard rubber. Apparently not, as it had a huge bite taken out of it. Ugh.
8:05 p.m.: My son gave me a shower.
The night was winding down and we thought it was ending well. MaryChristmas was maintaining a good normal temperature and ChokeyCharlie hadn't tried to eat any of his other presents. Less than an hour to go until bedtime. We've almost made it....
ChokeyCharlie started to cry. This was not unexpected because he missed his nap time this afternoon.
Awesomeness: What's the matter, buddy, are you sleepy? You should have taken a na.....
ChokeyCharlie: BBBBBBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHH!
I'm guessing that, by the time he was done, I had about half a gallon mixture of apple juice, water, milk, raisins, crackers, chips, turkey, bread and chocolate all down the front of me.
How did he know I've had that on my list for years and years?
Monday, May 17, 2010
Thanks For An Interesting Evening
ClarenceCribClimber:
Bottle Break 2010 was a success. He hasn't had a bottle for almost 2 weeks now. Nap time is a little hard on him, but he's been managing just fine. Bedtime is the worst. He still cries for up to 5 minutes when I put him to bed. He does go to sleep though.
Until last night. We went up to bed around 9:15. He started crying; I walked away.
15 minutes later: still crying.
30 minutes later: still crying.
1 hour later: still crying.
I figured he has got to be close to crying himself to sleep by now...When all of a sudden, I hear his little voice. Giggling. From the stairwell. This one:
This one wasn't too much of a shocker. All day long, this kid has had gas that smelled like road kill. We knew something along her digestive tract was bothering her, but she said her stomach felt fine.
Around 11:30, I woke up to her cries. When I made my way over to her room, Mr. A was already there. So was about a gallon of puke.
Family camp out on the couches.
Awesome.
Oh, except that ClarenceCribClimber can now get out of his crib and terrorize the house at will.
Sorry Mr. A, you're on your own.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz................
Bottle Break 2010 was a success. He hasn't had a bottle for almost 2 weeks now. Nap time is a little hard on him, but he's been managing just fine. Bedtime is the worst. He still cries for up to 5 minutes when I put him to bed. He does go to sleep though.
Until last night. We went up to bed around 9:15. He started crying; I walked away.
15 minutes later: still crying.
30 minutes later: still crying.
1 hour later: still crying.
I figured he has got to be close to crying himself to sleep by now...When all of a sudden, I hear his little voice. Giggling. From the stairwell. This one:
The one that has lots of glass for him to smash his head into. He made it all the way to the first landing (seen at the top of the picture) before I got to him.
While I was impressed that he made it down 4 steps without falling and breaking his neck, it didn't alleviate my my heart attack.
Apparently, he decided he was done with his bed and he wanted to come down to see us.
PriscillaPuker
This one wasn't too much of a shocker. All day long, this kid has had gas that smelled like road kill. We knew something along her digestive tract was bothering her, but she said her stomach felt fine.
Around 11:30, I woke up to her cries. When I made my way over to her room, Mr. A was already there. So was about a gallon of puke.
Family camp out on the couches.
Awesome.
Oh, except that ClarenceCribClimber can now get out of his crib and terrorize the house at will.
Sorry Mr. A, you're on your own.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz................
Sunday, May 9, 2010
I Want My Blankies Back
I have three throw blankets that hang around the living room waiting for me to catch a chill. They never have to wait for very long, as I'm pretty much a lizard. Recently, the kids have decided that, no matter how many of their own blankets are around, they need to use mine. Usually as a napkin or toilet.
Right now I'm shivering and hunched over my laptop, using its heat to keep my hands from frosting over (which is also why I'm posting for a second time today--I've got to keep moving) and where are my blankets?
Blanket #1: The boy fell asleep in it the other night, so I left him in it to take him to bed. What I failed to notice on the way up is that he spilled milk on it. Later that night he got mad about the no bottle thing and it got kicked underneath his bed. This is where I found it this morning. Stinking like four day old milk. It's in the washing machine right now.
Blanket #2: This is a huge black and gray comforter. Not really a "throw" blanket, but sometimes I get really, really cold and a little, fuzzy butt-cover just won't do. Right now it's missing. I know the kids took it somewhere and did something with it, but now I can't find it. Where would it be if I could find it? In the wash with the throw. The last time I saw the thing, my boy had peed on it while napping.
Blanket #3: Is in the car and I'm not touching it. Carsick Cathy barfed on it. Even if I washed it, I would know it used to have puke on it and, therefore, would not cover myself with it. I'm a weirdo. Someday, I will trick Mr. A into removing it from the car for me and then I will kill it with fire.
Yes the car smells.
Really though, it would smell anyway because of the fast food bags in the back. And because of the week old coffee mug I keep forgetting to bring in.
Now this is getting gross, but I can't stop typing.
Right now I'm shivering and hunched over my laptop, using its heat to keep my hands from frosting over (which is also why I'm posting for a second time today--I've got to keep moving) and where are my blankets?
Blanket #1: The boy fell asleep in it the other night, so I left him in it to take him to bed. What I failed to notice on the way up is that he spilled milk on it. Later that night he got mad about the no bottle thing and it got kicked underneath his bed. This is where I found it this morning. Stinking like four day old milk. It's in the washing machine right now.
Blanket #2: This is a huge black and gray comforter. Not really a "throw" blanket, but sometimes I get really, really cold and a little, fuzzy butt-cover just won't do. Right now it's missing. I know the kids took it somewhere and did something with it, but now I can't find it. Where would it be if I could find it? In the wash with the throw. The last time I saw the thing, my boy had peed on it while napping.
Blanket #3: Is in the car and I'm not touching it. Carsick Cathy barfed on it. Even if I washed it, I would know it used to have puke on it and, therefore, would not cover myself with it. I'm a weirdo. Someday, I will trick Mr. A into removing it from the car for me and then I will kill it with fire.
Yes the car smells.
Really though, it would smell anyway because of the fast food bags in the back. And because of the week old coffee mug I keep forgetting to bring in.
Now this is getting gross, but I can't stop typing.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Day 294
We're still under attack by the Legion of Doom. This army of supervirus friends is just too strong.
They're also playing dirty. They like to trick us into thinking that they've gone away completely and then a couple of days later comes the vomiting, the coughing, the ear infection, the fever, weird rashes, you name it.
But no mutation-related superpowers. Huh. I feel ripped off.
They're also playing dirty. They like to trick us into thinking that they've gone away completely and then a couple of days later comes the vomiting, the coughing, the ear infection, the fever, weird rashes, you name it.
But no mutation-related superpowers. Huh. I feel ripped off.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Goodbye 2009
Good riddance.
The last week of the year was 2009's way of throwing one last flying elbow into our chests.
NuclearHeadNelly got up to 105.8 degrees on Tuesday. We took her in to urgent care to see if they knew what was wrong and could help her in any way. Of course, when we get her there, her temp had dropped to 97. There's nothing for them to do for a kid that isn't presenting any symptoms, so we just took her home.
The next day, she was back up past 105 again. We took her to see her regular doctor who promptly sent us on our way to the children's hospital for some blood work. Whew! Action!! Action is my favorite.
Because our kid is stubborn -- her name even means "spirit of battle" and she earned it in the womb -- she somehow willed her veins not to dispense blood. It took 4 arm pokes for them to even find a vein, then 3 nurses had to hold her in position while they forced the vein to give up the goods. Even then, it took over an hour for them to get 2 small vials of blood from her.
She hated being there with a passion. She cried to go home. Even when her temperature dropped to 95 degrees, then leaped back up to 104.5, she was begging to go. This, of course, lead to a hunger strike, which added to the misery of the hospital experience, because now she's also starving.
Two days of being in the hospital, 2 coloring books and a yellow balloon later, she's fine and back home. I'm just sore that 2009 decided to kick us in the nuts this one last time before giving it up.
Here's hoping that 2010 is a year of good health.
Monday, November 16, 2009
The "Feel Better" Brigade
When you need to cheer up a sick sister, call in this guy:
He will perform invaluable services that are sure to make her feel better, such as:
He will perform invaluable services that are sure to make her feel better, such as:
- yelling in her ear
- bouncing her up and down right after she's puked
- stealing her crackers
- waking her up by knocking over furniture
Thursday, November 5, 2009
We Have Temporarily Exorcised The Demon
The flu came to visit us this last month. Just as I was finally getting some decent sleep, the flu kicked down our door and viciously attacked my kids. It was a nightmare of 105 degree fevers, vomiting, turning our bathroom into a sauna, humidifiers, and secondary infection.
Before it was over, ChrissyCoughs-A-Lot has gotten: the flu, a double ear infection and a urinary tract infection. We learned one very important lesson with that: stop waiting for her to display abnormal symptoms or behaviors before calling for a doctor appointment.
We have, until now, operated on the assumption that we could just handle everything at home. We both agreed that taking her out just put other people at risk for being infected by her. Also, though, we didn't want her to pick up something worse in a waiting room.
Well, our reasoning got us a kid that was a lot sicker than she needed to be. Now she's taking an antibiotic (that some idiot, who will remain nameless, let's just say she's normally totally awesome...ahem, left out on the counter overnight so she had to start her dosages over again) and she is doing much better.
The scary part of this story is that she really wasn't acting abnormally. Even when her fever was leveled off at 103, she still chased her brother around the house and threw the mother of all tantrums when we wouldn't let her play outside. She was not giving us any reason to suspect that her ears or her....anyway, that anything hurt her.
She's back at school now. Which only means that we need to stock up on more fever reducer, because I'm sure the flu liked it here and will probably be visiting again soon.
Before it was over, ChrissyCoughs-A-Lot has gotten: the flu, a double ear infection and a urinary tract infection. We learned one very important lesson with that: stop waiting for her to display abnormal symptoms or behaviors before calling for a doctor appointment.
We have, until now, operated on the assumption that we could just handle everything at home. We both agreed that taking her out just put other people at risk for being infected by her. Also, though, we didn't want her to pick up something worse in a waiting room.
Well, our reasoning got us a kid that was a lot sicker than she needed to be. Now she's taking an antibiotic (that some idiot, who will remain nameless, let's just say she's normally totally awesome...ahem, left out on the counter overnight so she had to start her dosages over again) and she is doing much better.
The scary part of this story is that she really wasn't acting abnormally. Even when her fever was leveled off at 103, she still chased her brother around the house and threw the mother of all tantrums when we wouldn't let her play outside. She was not giving us any reason to suspect that her ears or her....anyway, that anything hurt her.
She's back at school now. Which only means that we need to stock up on more fever reducer, because I'm sure the flu liked it here and will probably be visiting again soon.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Vacation
Psssshtt. I wish that's why I haven't been writing. The truth is, the kids are not doing too hot.
It's been 4 months since we started SaraSchoolGirl in preschool and 4 months since her nose and lungs have been clear of mucus.
It's been 4 months since BoogerBoyBob hasn't had to be wrestled down for a whole day to clear his poor nose. I'm so glad we don't live in an apartment.
It's been 4 months since I've slept through the night in my own bed. I do have a nice groove worked into the couch though.
It's been 4 months of always making sure we are well-stocked in anti-fever meds.
It's been 4 months since I've been able to string coherent thoughts together for any sustained period of time.
It's been 4 months since I've questioned why parents are half-crazy.
It's been 4 months since we started SaraSchoolGirl in preschool and 4 months since her nose and lungs have been clear of mucus.
It's been 4 months since BoogerBoyBob hasn't had to be wrestled down for a whole day to clear his poor nose. I'm so glad we don't live in an apartment.
It's been 4 months since I've slept through the night in my own bed. I do have a nice groove worked into the couch though.
It's been 4 months of always making sure we are well-stocked in anti-fever meds.
It's been 4 months since I've been able to string coherent thoughts together for any sustained period of time.
It's been 4 months since I've questioned why parents are half-crazy.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Some Girl
I don't know when, but at some point Some Girl ended up being my "I'm up at 2:40 a.m. and life is sucking" movie. I'm just fascinated by Marissa Rabisi's character and her steady decline throughout the movie. I'm pretty sure that I was jealous that she got to take pyrmaniacal actions against the source of her problems. I just spoiled the end for anyone who hasn't seen it, but it's really a non-end anyway.
ChrissyCoughs-A-Lot was up at 2:30 hacking the last of her lungs out. The 3 months solid that she's had her preschool crud has been hard on her. I can't get mad at her; she hasn't had a decent night's sleep in all that time either.
I listened out for a while, to make sure that she wasn't also throwing up or crying, then snuggled back down into my nice, warm bed.
WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
That would be SidneySleepKiller. I don't know if his sister's coughing woke him up or the sound of my comfort. I pat him on the back and fix his blankets and pray to benevolent sleep spirits. Those sleep spirits are scumbag twats. No dice. I think one of them peed on me.
I take him downstairs to change him and give him a bottle and pray to the benevolent catnap-on-the-couch spirits that this will be everything he needs. Nope. By this time Marissa's character is on her way to that special place in my heart. I wonder if he'll ever sleep. Well, actually, first I wonder if I've ever seen this movie from the beginning. Then I wonder how I can come to an arrangement with the evil revenge spirits to sic my fire angel on those bastard catnap-on-the-couch spirits. Then I wonder if he'll ever sleep.
The movie ends and I'm still holding my baby, trying to get him to calm down without my having to be upright and bouncing. I think I'm going to trade in this kid's crib for a vibrating lounge chair. Sure, it'll be expensive, but I'm sure it'll be worth its weight in gold.
He's finally down just in time for the alarm to go off. Now I'm saying a little prayer to the benevolent coffee spirits. I think I have an in with these guys. I put their coffee blessings in funny mugs and slip them some Chocolate Caramel cream. Offerings -- it's all about the offerings.
ChrissyCoughs-A-Lot was up at 2:30 hacking the last of her lungs out. The 3 months solid that she's had her preschool crud has been hard on her. I can't get mad at her; she hasn't had a decent night's sleep in all that time either.
I listened out for a while, to make sure that she wasn't also throwing up or crying, then snuggled back down into my nice, warm bed.
WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
That would be SidneySleepKiller. I don't know if his sister's coughing woke him up or the sound of my comfort. I pat him on the back and fix his blankets and pray to benevolent sleep spirits. Those sleep spirits are scumbag twats. No dice. I think one of them peed on me.
I take him downstairs to change him and give him a bottle and pray to the benevolent catnap-on-the-couch spirits that this will be everything he needs. Nope. By this time Marissa's character is on her way to that special place in my heart. I wonder if he'll ever sleep. Well, actually, first I wonder if I've ever seen this movie from the beginning. Then I wonder how I can come to an arrangement with the evil revenge spirits to sic my fire angel on those bastard catnap-on-the-couch spirits. Then I wonder if he'll ever sleep.
The movie ends and I'm still holding my baby, trying to get him to calm down without my having to be upright and bouncing. I think I'm going to trade in this kid's crib for a vibrating lounge chair. Sure, it'll be expensive, but I'm sure it'll be worth its weight in gold.
He's finally down just in time for the alarm to go off. Now I'm saying a little prayer to the benevolent coffee spirits. I think I have an in with these guys. I put their coffee blessings in funny mugs and slip them some Chocolate Caramel cream. Offerings -- it's all about the offerings.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Lava Zombie
LavaLarry has been running a fever for the last 2 days. It finally broke last night, thank goodness, but sick babies = glued to mommy. I feel incredibly bad for my babies when they don't feel good but that doesn't mean I want to spend all my time wearing them.
Now, he won't sleep.
He'll scream his head off for 3 hours.
He'll toss his bottle onto the floor and smack my hands for trying to give it to him.
He'll slide off my lap onto the floor then scream louder because he just figured out he can't be on my lap and the floor at the same time.
He'll claw my arms, chest and neck and then get all indignant when I have to put him down because I can't take it anymore.
He'll finally cry himself out, but then wake up every 2 minutes or so to continue crying for about 30 seconds before passing out again.
But sleep? Nope. What sense would that make?
Now, he won't sleep.
He'll scream his head off for 3 hours.
He'll toss his bottle onto the floor and smack my hands for trying to give it to him.
He'll slide off my lap onto the floor then scream louder because he just figured out he can't be on my lap and the floor at the same time.
He'll claw my arms, chest and neck and then get all indignant when I have to put him down because I can't take it anymore.
He'll finally cry himself out, but then wake up every 2 minutes or so to continue crying for about 30 seconds before passing out again.
But sleep? Nope. What sense would that make?
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Letters To The Little Ones
To my precious son,
You are not my conjoined twin. We cut the umbilical cord in the hospital for a reason. Go play. Stop crying like you're being waterboarded if you're not being held.
Naps are great, but if you go to sleep after 7:00 from now on, this will be considered bedtime. You're going to have to work this out. I'm a sleep deprived mess and I'm not going to take it anymore.
Thank you for not getting sick this week.
Lots of Love,
Mama
****
To my lovely daughter,
Crayons are not food. Candles are not food. That spaghetti you won't eat, however, is food.
Thanks for dumping corn starch all over the entire dining room. It was slightly easier to clean off the surfaces than sunblock.
Pulling on my hair is not a good way to get positive attention. Shoving your face in front of my face when I'm trying to blog or read stuff online is not a way to get positive attention. Jumping on my back when I'm trying to get your brother to finally take an early nap is a good way to get yourself exterminated.
It is physically impossible for us to occupy the exact same space. Back.The.Hell.Up.
The next time you get sick, please make sure to get something that your doctor can identify on the spot.
Lots of Love,
Mama
You are not my conjoined twin. We cut the umbilical cord in the hospital for a reason. Go play. Stop crying like you're being waterboarded if you're not being held.
Naps are great, but if you go to sleep after 7:00 from now on, this will be considered bedtime. You're going to have to work this out. I'm a sleep deprived mess and I'm not going to take it anymore.
Thank you for not getting sick this week.
Lots of Love,
Mama
****
To my lovely daughter,
Crayons are not food. Candles are not food. That spaghetti you won't eat, however, is food.
Thanks for dumping corn starch all over the entire dining room. It was slightly easier to clean off the surfaces than sunblock.
Pulling on my hair is not a good way to get positive attention. Shoving your face in front of my face when I'm trying to blog or read stuff online is not a way to get positive attention. Jumping on my back when I'm trying to get your brother to finally take an early nap is a good way to get yourself exterminated.
It is physically impossible for us to occupy the exact same space. Back.The.Hell.Up.
The next time you get sick, please make sure to get something that your doctor can identify on the spot.
Lots of Love,
Mama
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Name That Rash
Welcome to everyone's favorite game show, Name That Rash. I'm your awesome host. Let's get started. Today's rash looks like this:
I'll give you a hint: it's not roseola. The next hint: doctor says it's a virus. The last hint: it started on her knees.
I'll give you a hint: it's not roseola. The next hint: doctor says it's a virus. The last hint: it started on her knees.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Thank You Blue
Right now I'm pretty sick. NeedyNancy doesn't care if I'm half-dead, because she needs attention just the same. PaddyO'PlugNose is having whatever-it-is that I'm having illnesswise, so he's not giving me a moment's peace either.
I don't have the energy for chasing them. I don't have the voice to back up my lack of action. This could get really bad.
Good thing for all of us, we have several episodes of Blue's Clues on DVD. Both my kids are in love with the show and seemingly prefer watching it to, say, getting into the kitchen drawers or climbing onto the dining table, picking up their poop and smear it around th......................
Son of a bitch! I gotta go.
I don't have the energy for chasing them. I don't have the voice to back up my lack of action. This could get really bad.
Good thing for all of us, we have several episodes of Blue's Clues on DVD. Both my kids are in love with the show and seemingly prefer watching it to, say, getting into the kitchen drawers or climbing onto the dining table, picking up their poop and smear it around th......................
Son of a bitch! I gotta go.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Family Camp In - Day 2
Subtitled: Who's stupid idea was this again?
Disclaimer: What's with the bugs Blogger? Why can't I put spaces between my paragraphs? I'll try to make it easier on the eyes for everyone.
So the second night did not go nearly as well as the first. Neither of the kids were interested in sleep until around midnight. There's not really a good way to keep them both settled down at the same time. The minute she's bored or bothered, she cries and whines, which keeps him up. He makes sure to return the favor. Apparently only Dada and I need sleep.
LavaLass had mostly cooled down. We still monitored her during the night for good measure, but she never got back above 100. She did get cold though. She kept kicking her covers off, then waking up because she's cold. I don't know why she's not making the mental connection to just put her blanket back on, but she chose to start crying and walking around the house instead.
Of course, this wakes her brother up, who now has to be walked around and patted. We finally get her back into bed and put her blankets on. BrotherBerserko is cuddled back to sleep.
Fast forward to one hour later, when that whole mess gets repeated. No one got any sleep. This will officially end our family camp in adventure.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Family Camp In - Day 1
Neither the Mr. nor I wanted to leave LavaHead Lucy by herself last night, so we planned a family living room "camp in." Mr. A took the couch, I got the love seat, BiteyBoy camped out in his playpen, La'H'Lu' got her mattress on the floor.
In front of the TV.
Now, we have a tendency to cater to the girl when she's sick. It's not the ideal thing to do, but when your normally hyperactive firecracker is glassy-eyed and staring at the wall for almost an hour, it's hard to deny her request to watch Baby Deer (Bambi) even though Dada prefers root canals.
We watched Over The Hedge 3 times. Wall-E twice. We also found out that the menu sequence for Over The Hedge plays a semi horn. See my gripe about the dumbasses that make DVDs.
All in all, it went better than I thought. The fever broke around 3:30. Somehow, everyone actually got some sleep in between the truck horn and the alarm going off every couple of hours.
We're going for a repeat performance tonight. Wish us retroactive luck.
In front of the TV.
Now, we have a tendency to cater to the girl when she's sick. It's not the ideal thing to do, but when your normally hyperactive firecracker is glassy-eyed and staring at the wall for almost an hour, it's hard to deny her request to watch Baby Deer (Bambi) even though Dada prefers root canals.
We watched Over The Hedge 3 times. Wall-E twice. We also found out that the menu sequence for Over The Hedge plays a semi horn. See my gripe about the dumbasses that make DVDs.
All in all, it went better than I thought. The fever broke around 3:30. Somehow, everyone actually got some sleep in between the truck horn and the alarm going off every couple of hours.
We're going for a repeat performance tonight. Wish us retroactive luck.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Mystery Solved
Well, SisterSickopants, your Father's Day present to Dada this morning was to be a puking fireball of a daughter. He got to wake up early to your very loud crying, followed closely by your very loud vomit noises. Now we know why you were so fascinated with going to see the doctor yesterday.
As a special treat, your Dada got to make an early morning trip to Walgreen's for medicine, Gatorade and a thermometer that doesn't totally suck. Your temperature this morning, according to the one we had, was somewhere between 97 and 107 degrees. I had a feeling that the three 102 degree readings were more accurate, but I'd rather be sure.
Maybe next week we can take him out for a nice lunch like we were going to this week. In the meantime, rest up HotHeadHannah.
As a special treat, your Dada got to make an early morning trip to Walgreen's for medicine, Gatorade and a thermometer that doesn't totally suck. Your temperature this morning, according to the one we had, was somewhere between 97 and 107 degrees. I had a feeling that the three 102 degree readings were more accurate, but I'd rather be sure.
Maybe next week we can take him out for a nice lunch like we were going to this week. In the meantime, rest up HotHeadHannah.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Progress Finally
I haven't even been able to keep up with this between my 2 kids being as sick as they are and I'm also not doing too good.
LittleMs.AttentionStarved is finally a normal temperature. She still has a cough, but her nose isn't very stuffy or runny anymore. She has more energy and she's finally eating most of her meals. Of course now that she's better and wants to play, she thinks that Mommy should want to play too. I have about 7 or 8 nights of sleep to catch up on before I'll be ready for that.
Mr. ClammyHead is finally not feverish either, but he's got this weird anti-fever now. He's still stuffy and coughing, but he is eating some more and getting more sleep. Well, when his hornery sister lets him anyway.
LittleMs.AttentionStarved is finally a normal temperature. She still has a cough, but her nose isn't very stuffy or runny anymore. She has more energy and she's finally eating most of her meals. Of course now that she's better and wants to play, she thinks that Mommy should want to play too. I have about 7 or 8 nights of sleep to catch up on before I'll be ready for that.
Mr. ClammyHead is finally not feverish either, but he's got this weird anti-fever now. He's still stuffy and coughing, but he is eating some more and getting more sleep. Well, when his hornery sister lets him anyway.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
I Can Haz Sleep?
4 nights and counting since I've last been able to get any sleep. Mr. Snotbucket wakes up now 3 or 4 times a night because he isn't able to breathe very well. I get it LittleMan, but Mommy is no good to you at 3:30 in the morning when she's only had a combined 6 hours of sleep in the last 4 nights.
Not to mention that I'm also hit hard with this cold too, so sleep is vital to me right now. It sure would be nice if there was such a thing as a second person in the house that could also take care of sick babies in the middle of the night. Someone like, say, Mr. Awesomeness AKA Mr. I'm Gonna Pretend To Be So Asleep That I Don't Hear That Screaming Baby That's A Foot From My Head. Yep, it's just too sad that I don't know that guy....
Not to mention that I'm also hit hard with this cold too, so sleep is vital to me right now. It sure would be nice if there was such a thing as a second person in the house that could also take care of sick babies in the middle of the night. Someone like, say, Mr. Awesomeness AKA Mr. I'm Gonna Pretend To Be So Asleep That I Don't Hear That Screaming Baby That's A Foot From My Head. Yep, it's just too sad that I don't know that guy....
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