I Just Don't Know

I haven't been able to (yes, yes, I'll get you some juice) write much lately and I (stop biting my arm) really don't know what the (are you okay?  where's the booboo?) problem is. 

I have (no, we don't take off our peedy diapers and put them on Mama's laptop while she's typing) plenty of time and the kids (get that basket off your brother's head!) like playing together (give your sister back her train!).

Mr. A helps keep them out of my (is it time for PerpetuallySickPetunia's medicine?) hair so I can get stuff (GET OFF THE COUNTER!!!) done.  NappyTimeNorman still takes some (SHHH! No screaming while your brother's sleeping.  Let's play in your room.) pretty good naps.

It's just so (stop using my arm as a monkey bar) amazing how lazy I've been (get off my neck, you're choking me) lately about keeping (yes, we'll watch Team Umizoomi in a minute, Mama's busy) up with my blogs.  It's, like, worse than (quit crying in my face...I said in a minute) usual lately.

Maybe (aw, do your teeth hurt little buddy?) it's because I've been (GET OUT OF THE BLINDS YOUNG LADY!) sick this last week...

I mean I feel (where's your panties?  you had them on a second ago) much better and I'm getting plenty (stop pushing the couch into your brother) of rest.  There's really nothing (PUT DOWN MAMA'S WII!) stopping me from getting anything (I hear you, I'll get you a sandwich in a minute) done.  I just need to find (do you have to go potty?) some inspiration.  I might just (NO! NOT ON THE FLOOR!  WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!!?)...

I give up.

That Explains It

The last week or so has been particularly cruel.  SharkToothSeamus has been a screaming non-stop like he's being eviscerated.  The screams could freeze your soul.  He's not eating well, he's hardly sleeping at all.  It's been a nightmare.

Last night, I tried to keep him calm by playing with him.  I turned him upside down and he's actually laughing -- for once.  That's when I notice 8 new teeth.  8.  All at once.

This kid needs a trophy.  And some Motrin.

Go To Sleep....Go To Sleeeeep....GO TO SLEEP LITTLE BABY!

So Sabertooth has officially earned a new nickname: Count Crybaby.  The Count because this kid just prefers to stay up all night.  I've been fighting his nocturnal habits for too many months now and figure that the new moniker will shame him into falling into sync with normal circadian rhythms.

The Crybaby comes from the fact that he actually is one.  He doesn't really want to nap much during the day anymore and then he wants to hang out all night too.  Some days he's awake from 6:00 in the morning until 11:00 at night with little more than a 15-30 minute nap.  This means that he's whiny and clingy for HOURS.

Hell, I get crabby when I have to conform to that schedule.

Oh, wait.  Since he gets up at 6:00, that means he gets 1 more hour of sleep than me.

Bearopus

It's time to come clean with you, NeedyNorman.  You're adopted. 

Your parents were a bear and an octopus.  They were young and just couldn't afford to take care of you properly.  Also, your bear father couldn't very well make a life in the sea with your octopus mother.  She tried to live in the forest, but it just didn't last.  It was very sad.  They loved you very much.

So now you know where you got your ability to maul me so effectively.  Also, those clinging arms that seem to be everywhere, that was your mom's side. 

I know that you probably have a lot to think about right now.  Your Dada and I are here for you.