This morning was not good for me. After an entire week of having half the world in my face from sun up to sun down, my mind and body just crashed and burned. I got the kids up, thinking I could manage if I could get them fed and then engaged in something. No, I was done. I needed more sleep.
That's what I thought I needed anyway, DoctorDotty had a different opinion.
DoctorDotty: What you doin' Mama?
Awesomeness: I need more rest sweetie, so I'm just going to lie here for a while.
DoctorDotty: You no go to sleep Mama!
Awesomeness: I really need sleep honey. If you need something, can you get your dad please?
DoctorDotty: Mama, you need go poopoo.
Awesomeness: I don't honey. I don't feel like I have to go poopoo at all.
DoctorDotty: Yes Mama. You need go poopoo so you feel better.
What do you say to that? I just threw a blanket over my head and went to sleep.
Showing posts with label pooping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pooping. Show all posts
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
The Cat What?
TashaTattleTale: Mama! Mama! The kitty has a rock.
Awesomeness: Uh. The kitty has a rock? Is that what you said?
TashaTattleTale: Yeah! The kitty has a rock.
Awesomeness: Okaaaaay. Thanks for letting me know.
I look at the cat, who does not appear to have anything that even remotely looks like a rock. I have no idea what this kid is talking about.
TashaTattleTale: The kitty sit on himself.
Awesomeness: What the wha? The kitty sat on herself?
TashaTattleTale: Yeah, he was on the stairs and he sat on himself.
Duly noted.....
A few minutes later:
TashaTattleTale: We need go wash my foot. It's stinky.
Awesomeness: How did your foot get stinky?
TashaTattleTale: Kitty peed the floor and I step in it.
Awesomeness: .......
I had her show me where the alleged cat pee was and there was nothing. Odd.
About a half an hour later the kids' speech therapist came over and the cat decided she was going to be friendly today. This is when I noticed a piece of crap stuck to the cat's butt.
"The kitty sit on himself." Yes, she did indeed shit on herself. I'm also thinking we solved the mystery of the "rock" the kitty had. The cat pee? I haven't found it yet and I'm not looking for it.
Awesomeness: Uh. The kitty has a rock? Is that what you said?
TashaTattleTale: Yeah! The kitty has a rock.
Awesomeness: Okaaaaay. Thanks for letting me know.
I look at the cat, who does not appear to have anything that even remotely looks like a rock. I have no idea what this kid is talking about.
TashaTattleTale: The kitty sit on himself.
Awesomeness: What the wha? The kitty sat on herself?
TashaTattleTale: Yeah, he was on the stairs and he sat on himself.
Duly noted.....
A few minutes later:
TashaTattleTale: We need go wash my foot. It's stinky.
Awesomeness: How did your foot get stinky?
TashaTattleTale: Kitty peed the floor and I step in it.
Awesomeness: .......
I had her show me where the alleged cat pee was and there was nothing. Odd.
About a half an hour later the kids' speech therapist came over and the cat decided she was going to be friendly today. This is when I noticed a piece of crap stuck to the cat's butt.
"The kitty sit on himself." Yes, she did indeed shit on herself. I'm also thinking we solved the mystery of the "rock" the kitty had. The cat pee? I haven't found it yet and I'm not looking for it.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Quotes From The Week
This last week I've been on vacation. That means I've spent most of my waking moments with my destructive, back-talking maniacs sweet angel children. Here are my favorite quotes from the week courtesy of WandaWordsmith:
Tuesday:
We took her in for a speech evaluation (finally, I know) where she was walked through a series of pictures and she was asked to discern whether the pictured item was a food or a toy. She did spectacularly; she only missed one:
[Orange]
Wanda: It's a toy.
SpeechEvaluator: No, that one's an orange. It's a food...
Wanda: No, orange is a toy. It's for juggling.
Wednesday:
When I opened her door in the morning, I noticed that she was clutching her blanket. A guilty expression crossed her face for a split second, then she hands it to me.
Wanda: It's wet Mama.
Awesomeness: *drops the blanket to the floor* How did it get wet? Did you peepee your bed?
Wanda: NO!! I NOT PEEPEE!!!
Awesomeness: How did it get wet then?
Wanda: You see my woody?
Awesomeness: ?!
Awesomeness: ...
Awesomeness: *finally understands...gimme a break, it was 5:30 in the morning* You're missing your Cowboy Woody doll?
Wanda: Yeah.
Awesomeness: Does that have something to do with why your blanket is wet?
Wanda: Yeah.
Awesomeness: Are you saying that Woody peepeed your blanket?
Wanda: Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaah....
Thursday:
She was having...health issues. For the sake of sparing you all, I will insinuate only that a) yes, indeed, the word "explosive" can be applied to her...health issue when it appears on every square inch of the bathroom b) it took 1/2 a container of Clorox wipes to get my bathroom right again c) it took a half hour long shower for me to feel clean again after wiping it all up d) I still won't walk barefoot across the floor. Bleh!
While the massive clean up effort was going on I asked her to wait for me in the bathtub, because she was going to get hosed down next. She kept trying to get out and finally I'd had enough:
Awesomeness: You stay in that bathtub and don't try to get out again, young lady!
Wanda: No!! I not a lady anymore!
Awesomeness: *looked down at the 5 more gallons of...health issues...I still needed to clean up* Yeah. I would say that's pretty accurate right now.
Friday:
Mr. A and I were just discussing the pleasant prospect of dealing with a no nap baby for the next 5 hours. The kid got up late, he's eaten like a shark all day and has been running around playing like a normal kid (for once...).
Mr. A: Still no nap, huh?
Awesomeness: No. You know he'll pull that dick move where he wants to nap 2 hours before bedtime.
Mr. A: Should be fun!
Mr. A (to NoNapNorman): You will stay awake until bedtime, child!
Wanda: You calm down now, Daddy.
Mr. A: ...
Mr. A: I'm just going to walk away.
Tuesday:
We took her in for a speech evaluation (finally, I know) where she was walked through a series of pictures and she was asked to discern whether the pictured item was a food or a toy. She did spectacularly; she only missed one:
[Orange]
Wanda: It's a toy.
SpeechEvaluator: No, that one's an orange. It's a food...
Wanda: No, orange is a toy. It's for juggling.
Wednesday:
When I opened her door in the morning, I noticed that she was clutching her blanket. A guilty expression crossed her face for a split second, then she hands it to me.
Wanda: It's wet Mama.
Awesomeness: *drops the blanket to the floor* How did it get wet? Did you peepee your bed?
Wanda: NO!! I NOT PEEPEE!!!
Awesomeness: How did it get wet then?
Wanda: You see my woody?
Awesomeness: ?!
Awesomeness: ...
Awesomeness: *finally understands...gimme a break, it was 5:30 in the morning* You're missing your Cowboy Woody doll?
Wanda: Yeah.
Awesomeness: Does that have something to do with why your blanket is wet?
Wanda: Yeah.
Awesomeness: Are you saying that Woody peepeed your blanket?
Wanda: Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaah....
Thursday:
She was having...health issues. For the sake of sparing you all, I will insinuate only that a) yes, indeed, the word "explosive" can be applied to her...health issue when it appears on every square inch of the bathroom b) it took 1/2 a container of Clorox wipes to get my bathroom right again c) it took a half hour long shower for me to feel clean again after wiping it all up d) I still won't walk barefoot across the floor. Bleh!
While the massive clean up effort was going on I asked her to wait for me in the bathtub, because she was going to get hosed down next. She kept trying to get out and finally I'd had enough:
Awesomeness: You stay in that bathtub and don't try to get out again, young lady!
Wanda: No!! I not a lady anymore!
Awesomeness: *looked down at the 5 more gallons of...health issues...I still needed to clean up* Yeah. I would say that's pretty accurate right now.
Friday:
Mr. A and I were just discussing the pleasant prospect of dealing with a no nap baby for the next 5 hours. The kid got up late, he's eaten like a shark all day and has been running around playing like a normal kid (for once...).
Mr. A: Still no nap, huh?
Awesomeness: No. You know he'll pull that dick move where he wants to nap 2 hours before bedtime.
Mr. A: Should be fun!
Mr. A (to NoNapNorman): You will stay awake until bedtime, child!
Wanda: You calm down now, Daddy.
Mr. A: ...
Mr. A: I'm just going to walk away.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Poop Fetish
I would find the technical name for it, but I'm afraid to Google it, so I'll just leave it alone. We'll just call her Franny Fecophile and call it good.
I cannot keep this kid from playing with her own crap. I really have no idea what the fascination is, but she just won't leave it alone. This morning we found her in her room with her poop all over her hands. She was smearing it into the carpet.
If it didn't stink to high heaven, I would just assume that she found the texture fascinating and the lumps of mushy clay-like substance just something fun to mold into little poop dogs. The fact of the matter though is that she thinks it's gross.
We get her downstairs to wash her hands and she's saying, "Ew! Poop on a hands! Wash a hands."
If you really find it that disgusting kid, just keep your damn hands out of it.
I cannot keep this kid from playing with her own crap. I really have no idea what the fascination is, but she just won't leave it alone. This morning we found her in her room with her poop all over her hands. She was smearing it into the carpet.
If it didn't stink to high heaven, I would just assume that she found the texture fascinating and the lumps of mushy clay-like substance just something fun to mold into little poop dogs. The fact of the matter though is that she thinks it's gross.
We get her downstairs to wash her hands and she's saying, "Ew! Poop on a hands! Wash a hands."
If you really find it that disgusting kid, just keep your damn hands out of it.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Thank You Blue
Right now I'm pretty sick. NeedyNancy doesn't care if I'm half-dead, because she needs attention just the same. PaddyO'PlugNose is having whatever-it-is that I'm having illnesswise, so he's not giving me a moment's peace either.
I don't have the energy for chasing them. I don't have the voice to back up my lack of action. This could get really bad.
Good thing for all of us, we have several episodes of Blue's Clues on DVD. Both my kids are in love with the show and seemingly prefer watching it to, say, getting into the kitchen drawers or climbing onto the dining table, picking up their poop and smear it around th......................
Son of a bitch! I gotta go.
I don't have the energy for chasing them. I don't have the voice to back up my lack of action. This could get really bad.
Good thing for all of us, we have several episodes of Blue's Clues on DVD. Both my kids are in love with the show and seemingly prefer watching it to, say, getting into the kitchen drawers or climbing onto the dining table, picking up their poop and smear it around th......................
Son of a bitch! I gotta go.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Synchronized Pooping
My kids are on the same poop schedule. I think it's convenient. I just have one time during the day to deal with all the "another person's poop" nastiness, then it's done.
Mr. Awesomeness, on the other hand, had his world come crashing down on him when he discovered poop in the potty chair while he was on his way to throw away a poop diaper.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Ahem, I mean, aw, that sucks dude.
Mr. Awesomeness, on the other hand, had his world come crashing down on him when he discovered poop in the potty chair while he was on his way to throw away a poop diaper.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Ahem, I mean, aw, that sucks dude.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Sleep Pooper
Silly PoopyBoy. I don't know what happens in your little baby head. You start to get sleepy. Your bowels relax maybe. You are, possibly, comforted by the warm sensation in your diaper. You fall asleep.
You wake up with a serious case of red-ass. You are a grumplestiltskin for the rest of the day. Wouldn't it be easier to leave the poopies for a time when we can take care of it? You've caused your mom to collect a witch's brew of butt potions on her breakfast bar. I'd rather put cookies or potpourri up there. It's a lot more homey and attractive.
Let's work on that, okay?
You wake up with a serious case of red-ass. You are a grumplestiltskin for the rest of the day. Wouldn't it be easier to leave the poopies for a time when we can take care of it? You've caused your mom to collect a witch's brew of butt potions on her breakfast bar. I'd rather put cookies or potpourri up there. It's a lot more homey and attractive.
Let's work on that, okay?
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