The Cutes

After almost a year in speech therapy, BobbyBlabberMouth is finally starting to open up and use his words to tell us what he needs.  A year ago, he wouldn't say anything or even try to communicate with us non-verbally, so this is amazing for us.  We finally know what our little boy wants.

He wants juice.

Lots and lots and lots of juice.

All day long, I'm pouring this kid juice.

He drinks so much of the stuff that I've had to start watering it down to a 75/25 water to juice ratio.

His pronunciation of the word 'juice' has been something of a small matter of contention between his father and me.  Instead of 'juice' he says 'cutes'.  I don't know why 'cutes', but it's friggin' adorable.  I have a hard time correcting his word.

Awwww, cutes!

Then SallyScientist gave me a logical excuse to keep calling it cutes:

Bobby: I wanch cutes!
Awesomeness: Aw, buddy, you need cutes? (Please don't tell on me.)
Bobby: Yeah! Cutes!!
Awesomeness: Come get your cutes, bud.
Sally: It's water and juice.  Water and juice makes 'cutes.'

Yes.  Yes it does.  Good call, kid.

The Great Apple Juice Shortage of 2010

Today, I realized that we are officially out of apple juice.  This would not normally be an issue, but my son prefers it and, since he's sick, he's even more particular than usual about getting his way.  When I announced that we were out of apple juice, HelpfulHannah stepped in to help me identify the apple juice that, very obviously, had to be in the fridge.  I must be getting ill myself, because I spent 5 minutes indulging this:

Hannah: Is this apple juice?
Awesomenes: No, that's Worcestershire sauce.
Hannah: Is this apple juice?
Awesomeness: No, that's soy sauce.
Hannah: Is this apple juice?
Awesomeness: No, that's ketchup.
Hannah: Oh yeah.  Ketchup is for french fries.  Is this apple juice?
Awesomeness: No, that's mustard.  Do you know what mustard is for?
Hannah: Mustard is for hot dogs. (I raised her right, thank you very much.)  Is this apple juice?
Awesomeness: No, that's milk
Hannah: Oh yeah.  Is this apple juice?
Awesomeness: No, that's Caesar dressing.
Hannah: Ew.

Etcetera.  Forever.

Actually for 5 minutes, but it felt like forever.

Moooooore Braaaaaaains

SilentBob, I've been hoping that you would start communicating with us for a long time now.  You held out for so long that your pediatrician now swears you're autistic.  We both know that's not true, so we sit and patiently wait for a time when you can communicate your needs.  And now you do...

SilentBob: Grink!!
Awesomeness: Oh! You need a drink, buddy?  Good job!  Let me get you a drink.

15 minutes later, I get a cup to the face.

SilentBob: Grink!!
Awesomeness: You need more drink?  Let me get you something...

5 minutes later, I realize I haven't heard you for a while.  When I track you down, you're pouring your drink all over the floor.  We take the drink away, because you were obviously not that thirsty.

10 minutes later:

SilentBob: Grink!!
Awesomeness: No way, buddy.  You poured your last drink on the floor.  You can have another drink in a little bit.
SilentBob: Grink!!
*ignored*
SilentBob: GRINK!!  GRINK!!  GRINK!!  GRINK!!  GRINK!!

Well now I've gotten my wish.  This is a conversation we have about 39 times every day.  It's nice talking to you, but you need to come up with some new words.

Quickly.

Bottle Break 2010

It's time, Bottle-AholicBobby, to give it up.  You're 3 months shy of your 2nd birthday and you don't need the bottle to get you through the day anymore. 

You're proficient in your sippie usage, so no excuses there.  You're in a good sleep pattern that leaves you nice and tired at the end of the day, so no need to be soothed to sleep.

Last night you fooled me and I'm kinda pissed about getting tricked by an almost-2-year old.  I laid you down and you just went to sleep.  It did seem too easy and I should have known better, but you're really too cute to be considered devious, so I had high hopes for tonight.

I set you down in your bed and, "WWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!  I gave in and brought you a small bottle. 

B-ABobby: 1
Awesomeness: 1

So, we're all tied up tonight buddy, what's it going to be tomorrow?

I Just Don't Know

I haven't been able to (yes, yes, I'll get you some juice) write much lately and I (stop biting my arm) really don't know what the (are you okay?  where's the booboo?) problem is. 

I have (no, we don't take off our peedy diapers and put them on Mama's laptop while she's typing) plenty of time and the kids (get that basket off your brother's head!) like playing together (give your sister back her train!).

Mr. A helps keep them out of my (is it time for PerpetuallySickPetunia's medicine?) hair so I can get stuff (GET OFF THE COUNTER!!!) done.  NappyTimeNorman still takes some (SHHH! No screaming while your brother's sleeping.  Let's play in your room.) pretty good naps.

It's just so (stop using my arm as a monkey bar) amazing how lazy I've been (get off my neck, you're choking me) lately about keeping (yes, we'll watch Team Umizoomi in a minute, Mama's busy) up with my blogs.  It's, like, worse than (quit crying in my face...I said in a minute) usual lately.

Maybe (aw, do your teeth hurt little buddy?) it's because I've been (GET OUT OF THE BLINDS YOUNG LADY!) sick this last week...

I mean I feel (where's your panties?  you had them on a second ago) much better and I'm getting plenty (stop pushing the couch into your brother) of rest.  There's really nothing (PUT DOWN MAMA'S WII!) stopping me from getting anything (I hear you, I'll get you a sandwich in a minute) done.  I just need to find (do you have to go potty?) some inspiration.  I might just (NO! NOT ON THE FLOOR!  WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!!?)...

I give up.

Overheard Around The House

MumbleMouthMartha: *mumblemumblemumble*

Mr. Awesomeness: Speak up baby, I cant hear you.

Mumbler: Want some apple juice.

Mr. A: I can get you some apple juice in just a minute.

Mumbler: *whiiiiiiiine!*

Mr. A: Do you see this guy?  I'm going to kill this guy, then I'll get you some juice.  Okay?

Mumbler: Okay...





For the record, Mr. A plays W.O.W. and was talking about killing a cartoon character.  I'm not sure I should have to disclaim that, but you never know when a body's going to show up unexpectedly.

The Color Of Water

AbbyBlabby started out with a bit of a language delay.  At close to 3 1/2, she will now speak to us in full sentences, but her pronunciation still needs a lot of work.  We try to help her out as best we can by continually challenging her to talk and interact with us. 

One constant exercise is to ask her to tell us the shapes and colors of things and to count them, if applicable.  On the way home from preschool, for instance, she was able to tell me that she had colored 3 triangle-shaped mice in orange, green and purple.

Today, Mr. Awesomeness was in the kitchen with her when she was begging like an orphan for food.  She has a bad habit of tugging on the refrigerator door.  So Mr. A, in keeping with tradition, asks her what color the fridge is.  "Black!" she says. 

Then she tells her Dada, "I want water."  This time, Mr. A asks her, "What color is water?"  He asked in a way that told me he was feeling a little smug about his trick question.

Her immediate response: "Brown."

Time to change the R.O. filter.

Front Room Banana Peel Farming?

Today's activities get me curious as to what MaryQuiteContrary has planted under my living room floor. Whatever it is, she feels the need to water it constantly. We just cleaned up 5 huge puddles of water from various spots on the floor.

How did we discover the water? When InnocentBystanderBoy slipped and fell on his ass. Good thing it's padded. No sooner did we get that cleaned up, then she slips and falls in another puddle a few feet away. On our way to another towel to clean that up, we discover 3 more.

So now I've got 2 babies with bruised psyches who want Mama to snuggle them back to 100% betterness. This forces me and Mr. A to do this weird kid-juggle-a-thon until both of them get settled down.

If I'm looking for a bright side, I guess I could say that those spots on my floor are a little bit cleaner now.

Water Fountain

I could have sworn I just gave my LittleThirstyGirl a cup of water. Why does she want more?

Oh. It's because she's taken her entire cup of water and, instead of using it to drink and stay hydrated, she spit it all over herself. Herself, her toys, the couch, her brother's toys, the floor. Apparently, this is a lot more fun than actually getting it into your belly.

Kid, you're almost 3. I'm not going to stand next to you while you drink water. You're a big girl now and should have the basic concept of swallowing down to a science by now.

I get that it looks funny coming out, but give it a rest all ready.

The Mystery Of The Poopoo Pa

2 year old: Poopoo pa
Awesome mom: Huh? What's a poopoo pa?
2yo: Mama poopoo pa
AMom: Show mama a poopoo pa
2yo points at the fridge. I open the door. She takes out water.
AMom: Honey, that's water
2yo: Mama wawe in a poopoo pa.
[She points. I look.]
Purple cup? You want water in your purple cup?
Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Case closed.