Good Night Moon

Last Christmas, BedtimeBetty's dad gave her the moon.  A Moon In My Room, anyway.  Even after a year, she's still excited about her moon and spends time every night clicking it to whichever phase makes her most happy.  Last night her moon -- and her heart -- broke.

BedtimeBetty: I want my moooooooon! 
Awesomeness: Aw, don't cry baby, you can see your moon tomorrow.
Mr. Awesomeness: Your moon is broken honey.  We need to fix it.
BedtimeBetty: You fix my moon please? 
Mr. Awesomeness: We can't fix it right now, we need to go to the store to fix your moon.
Awesomeness: The store is closed right now, baby girl.
Mr. Awesomeness: And it's on fire.
Awesomeness: And it's been abducted by aliens.
Mr. Awesomeness: Don't worry honey.  Tomorrow the aliens will return the store and put out the fire.  Ni' night.

We checked this morning and sure enough, the store is exactly where it should be.  It's also not on fire.

Anyone's Guess

What is this tantrum about? **turn your speakers down or off**



My guesses:

• You didn't nap
• You have a dirty diaper
• You're hungry
• You're cold
• You're congested
• You're teething
• Your sister hurt your feelings
• Your sister took a toy from you
• You were stung by a bee
• You got abducted by aliens and were subjected to an anal probe
• Your guidance counselor recommended Arm Pit Sniffer
• You are a cry-o-phile
• You saw your Dada naked
• You heard Wham! was getting back together
• You saw one of those awful E*Trade baby commercials
• You got locked in a dirty bathroom by a psychopath and had to saw off one of your feet
• You recognized the 3rd sign of the apocalypse
• No fucking reason whatsoever

I have eliminated all possibilities except that last one.

Attention Evil Aliens:

You have stolen my daughter and I want her back. The clone that you replaced her with is defective. It likes to play with sweet peppers and sticks chocolate ice cream in its butt.

For Mother's Day, it decided to unlock the front door, run out, then almost get hit by a car. We had to install a chain on our door. We expect a full refund of the purchase price, plus $20 extra for the time it took to put it up.

A short time later, it decided to write on our bathroom walls with permanent marker. I have full estimates from a few qualified painters in the area for your consideration. We'll expect your decision at the end of this week.

It finished out the evening by screaming bloody murder for an hour. Apparently it was after my daughter's stuffed animals, because the minute I put 12 of them in her bed with it, it quit crying and went to sleep.

The plus side is: I managed not to hit the damn thing. The down side: I had to spend the majority of Mother's Day trying not to hit it.

Just take it back.