Bearopus

It's time to come clean with you, NeedyNorman.  You're adopted. 

Your parents were a bear and an octopus.  They were young and just couldn't afford to take care of you properly.  Also, your bear father couldn't very well make a life in the sea with your octopus mother.  She tried to live in the forest, but it just didn't last.  It was very sad.  They loved you very much.

So now you know where you got your ability to maul me so effectively.  Also, those clinging arms that seem to be everywhere, that was your mom's side. 

I know that you probably have a lot to think about right now.  Your Dada and I are here for you.